My life... You asked for it...

      Well this is my first blog. I don't know what to write about. What do I write? I do enjoy talking. But writing, well I've never been one to put it into words. I guess I should talk about me in my 1st blog.

     I am a happily married mom of two. My amazing husband Josh has been by my side for almost 15 years now. Our two amazing children are Gina and Logan. This kids are my world. We make so many life decisions base on how it effects our children. At least, if you love your kids you do.  We have two dogs, Hayley Jo a chihuahua, Shadow a rat terrier and one fish.  My life has not always been this good. So here is the short version...
     I came in to this world a 6 month preemie. Spent months in the hospital. Not sure if that was the reason but I never bonded with my mother.  I'm not sure that if I was a term baby she would have bonded with me. My mother was one of those that was a bar Hopper had six kids. Where  I was home alone with my siblings. She had many different men in her life. There have been stepdads, boyfriends, one night stands and abusive babysitters. Abusive of any kind you can think of we experienced as children. We were in a children's home at one point. I would have to say that time is the only happy memory I have of my childhood. Other happy memories are times spend with people that was not my family.
      For as long as I could remember I felt I didn't belong. My thought process and ideas were so different than that of my family's. The only one in my family I could relate to is my uncle, my moms brother. So, when I turned 18, I moved in with him and my aunt and cousins. Despite all they love I was show, I still felt I was an inconvenience for them. So the first guy that came along, I married him at age 19. That marriage was just like living with my mother. The physical and mental abuse started again. Because we were raised in a cult religion, I was taught you would go to hell if you got a divorce. Despite my mothers example of multiple marriages. So I held on for right at 10 years.
      In 1996 I met my father for the first time. That is a blog for another day. The church my husband and I were a part of told me I had to choose between seeing my father and being a part of the church. I felt this was wrong and God didn't intend for me to choose, especially since he just allowed me to find him. So, I had enough, I left my abusive husband and the church and chose my Dad!
      It was during that time I met my Angel Josh. We met in a chat room, not a dating sight. We talked online and telephone for about 7 months. Then I flew up to Iowa to meet him in person. I knew at the first moment we embraced that this was what was missing in my life.
      About 5 months later we moved in together. We had our first son Keaton, who was full term stillborn. We were crushed! We decided right away to try again. Then we got pregnant with our beautiful daughter, Gina. We had a rough start, but now she is wonderful healthy girl. We decided a few years later to have our son Logan. He is such a smart guy. I tell him he got his extra smarts because it Keaton gave him his. 😀
        Which brings us to now and remember I said this was the short version. I am a substitute teacher. I have been subbing for about 4 years now. I am on the call list of 8 school districts. I do this because of my health. I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia in addition to other health issues. Subbing is easier to manage when I have a bad day.
        So enough babbling for now, I hope to write again soon....